We all come to crossroads in our lives. Moments when it becomes necessary for us to make a choice as to how we want to proceed onward through life. I’ve come to a point in my life where I simply cannot keep up this charade to my friends and family. I owe it to the people who care for me and love me to tell them the truth. I owe it to myself to be honest about what kind of person I am.
So now I have to take the difficult first step. The plunge. I’m going to let my soul bare and hope that those of you who’s friendships are true will not abandon me. I hope you all understand what an important and difficult thing this is to come to grips with, and I hope that you will have the strength to support me in this time. Truly, I need your strength now more than ever. For the truth, you see, can wound, oh so deeply.
Here it is. I’m going to just come right out and say it…
Weird, I know. I mean, she’s old and kind of disreputable. Hell, the best thing she’s ever done is the spectacularly awful Demolition Man staring Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes. You know, the one in the future where everyone’s a pussy and Sly showed up and kicks ass? She was the chick in that. Nice.
So sexy.
I feel like I shouldn’t be into the prospect of banging Sandra Bullock. It’s difficult to quantify, but it’s a gut feeling. It’s like part of my brain is firing ‘no-no’. It’s the same part of my brain that repulses me to the idea of incest and that tells me that dating Jennifer Love Hewitt is probably more trouble than it’s worth. That part of my brain clearly doesn’t want me to get it on with Sandra Bullock, but oh well, I’d still hit that.
Sensual kisses.
Now I’m not saying I’ve got the hots for her, because I really don’t. It’s not like I would go out of my way to pursue Sandra Bullock, but, ya know, if she showed up one Monday night at around 8:58 pm right before a brand new episode of Heroes and was like, “Hey, you want to do me?”, I’d go for it. I mean, yeah, I’d have to download Heroes from iTunes for $1.99 the next day, but I’d be willing to do that for her. And let me be clear, I don’t do that for every girl that comes to my door looking for me to do them.
Look at the people behind her. They’re shocked by her sexual energy!
I don’t think I’m alone here either. Well, maybe in terms of having relations with Sandra Bullock specifically I am, but I mean in more broad, general strokes. There’s a class of woman that guys are sort of indifferent towards knocking boots with. Women that you’d bang, you know, if it didn’t really require any effort. You get what I’m saying.
So in conclusion I would be willing to have sexual intercourse with Sandra Bullock. I hope that my friends and family can look past that and not judge me too terribly because of it. Thank you.
Tags: Romance
Consider yourself judged sir; that is aweful, dispicable, nasty…but I too, would also hit that!
Oh my, I’m not sure we can be friends any more. Wait, are we friends? Hmph.
ps. I’d do her too….
“Exchange bodily fluids ?!?? Eeeewwwe….”
y’know this, right ? It’s Ms Bullock in a scene from Demolition Man !