This is a very special week. Finally after many years of speculation, rumors, and waiting, the greatest day of days is nearly upon us. This Friday at 6pm marks the moment that will change the very course of human history. Yes, that’s right. I’m talking about the arrival of Jesus the Apple iPhone.
The coming of Jesus iPhone will herald a profound and wonderful change for humanity early adopters. Many of the religious Apple faithful are already waiting in line in hopes of securing they’re chance to see their Lord and Savior pay $599 for a 8 GB iPhone.
The Fox New Channel news media has been covering the news of the second coming of Christ iPhone’s launch with flare and excitement. Many are calling it the biggest religious moment product launch of our lifetime. Some have challenged that the media coverage has become pure hype, but the mere fact that the coverage has become as significant as it has simply solidifies how important the coming of Jesus the iPhone is.
One might wonder, What will Jesus the iPhone do for me? That’s a silly fair question that can be easily answered. Jesus iPhone will bring world peace and prosperity cutting-edge mobile connectivity to the masses people who are willing to pay for it. Jesus will end world hunger play YouTube videos and provide eternal happiness Google Maps. With His faithful apostles by His side a 2 year contract with AT&T Jesus iPhone will crush evil on Earth Blackberry.
What’s most remarkable about Jesus iPhone is His it’s love for all God’s children revolutionary graphical user interface. With Jesus iPhone in your heart hand you’ll be able to do amazing things with the blessing of the Lord touchscreen display.
There are, of course, those that doubt the greatness of Jesus iPhone. People who either cannot or will not accept the love kick-assery of Jesus iPhone. These blasphemers blasphemers will in time be proven both wrong and stupid, and there are already those that are fighting the good fight to help educate indoctrinate those doubters. The words of true believers like the Pope John Gruber will show people the way.
Years from now, when the world is a paradise of holy glory technological wonder people will look back at the date June 29, 2007 as the day the Universe cellular phone industry changed. Calendars will forever have marked upon them the day God’s son Steve Jobs’ pet project descended from Heaven Cupertino and freed the world went on sale. It shall be, truly, glorious!
So my question now is will Jesus…oops, I mean Steve Jobs take 6 iPhones and then miraculously make enough for everyone?
I must say, that “IPhone” is one “Intelligent Design”
Ok James, that’s just hilarious!