“Programmers Need To Learn Statistics Or I Will Kill Them”
Zed “Rails is a ghetto” Shaw’s post on the specious use of statistics by programmers is an excellent read, both for it’s information and the fact that Zed is friggin’ hilarious.
Case in point:
I’m sure you’ve all thought about it at some point. “Imagine you’re on a planet where everyone was blind, and you’re the only one with sight. How would you describe the sunset?” It’s commonly something done as an exercise in high school and it’s retarded. If this planet were populated with programmers though it would be really interesting.
Zed: Wow, the sunset here is a brilliant blue.
Joe Programmer: No, you’re fucking wrong it’s red asshole.
Zed: Uh, it’s blue. Guy with vision here. Remember?
Frank Programmer: Yeah, it’s red man. You’re an idiot. See,
I can hear the way it makes the air move so I know it looks red.
Zed: Look! I’m the one who can see! It’s blue.
Joe Programmer: I have written huge web applications in
every language and even programmed the original VAX. I know
that sunset is red.
Frank Programmer: It’s red because of the heat it generates
on my arm. Yes. I’m sure that’s it.
Zed: Fuck! Fuck! I have eyes! You do not! See!?
No?! Exactly! Because you can’t fucking see because you have
no fucking eyes! Arrggh! I’m going to get a burrito.
Joe Programmer: That guy is such an asshole.
Frank Programmer: Yep. Still sounds red to me though.This is how I feel when I try to explain why someone’s analysis isn’t quite
right.
I feel the same way when I talk to people about cartoons from the 80s.
I think you can basically break people down into two groups: people who think about standard deviation and people who don’t. If you want to use statistics intelligently you have to be in the former group, though most people are probably in the latter.
I watched my former boss grill an unfortunate post-doc for fifteen minutes on standard deviation vs. standard error, so, yeah, statistics are a pain. That’s why I just make up numbers, just like 37% of the general public. Word!
There have been 2 comments
1) Man. I forgot how very cheesedick the M.A.S.K. theme song was.
2) It is now stuck in my head.
3) Hey, way to blog once this week.
4) That was sarcasm.
5) Hey, 37% is my go-to percentage, too! “3D can make every movie 37% better.”
6) I miss your abusive and/or somewhat-amusing comments on my blog. Don’t make me get all mushy. Bitch.
My first instinct was to use the Inhumanoids, but then I remembered that M.A.S.K. was demonstrably more badass and significantly less creepy.
SilverHawks was pretty high on the list, too.
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